Surveys are fun!
1.) If I were a doll, the accessories packaged with me would be:
A glass of wine and a book by Trollope.
2.) I have an irrational fear of:
Being in a cave and having it collapse. Or the subway. Or any basement.
3.) What type of food do you eat at your grandparents house?
Thanksgiving dinner, since that’s pretty much those only time I’m at Grandma’s house anymore. Unfortunately. (Grandma, come on down for a visit to the sunny South! I miss you!)
4.) What weight were you when you were born?
Um, about 5.5 pounds.
5.) What would you do if you were stranded on an island with the person you hated most?
Try to make the best of it.
6.) What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?
Look with wonder at the gigantic pink pig flying through the sky.
7.) Do you stalk anyone on MySpace?
That’s for me to know and him to FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGE, dammit!
8.) I find the thought of childbirth:
Ludicrous and out of the question.
9.) Next door to my house is:
Another house.
10.) My sibling is:
A pain in the neck. But, you know, in a good way.
11.) My preferred style of jeans is:
Low-rise boot cut.
12.) Why is your #1 your #1?
What?
13.) Know how to cook?
Yes.
14.) I am annoyed with:
Pretty much everyone these days.
15.) My favorite show is:
Tough question. Uhhhh. The Office.
16.) What child-related smell do you not like?
Hmph. Haven’t been around children in a really long time. Um, I guess that would have to be poop.
17.) What sea creature scares you?
All of them. Ick.
18.) What color hair do most of the people you are around have?
All colors. Not any of them dominate.
19.) What object have you broken most recently?
My sanity.
20.) Name one of the Spice Girls:
Posh Spice.
21.) What was the last thing to make you cry?
An onion. And Beaches.
22.) What are the stems on wine glasses for?
To hold the glass so you don’t change the temperature of the wine.
23.) My favorite shoes are:
High heels!
24.) Can you use chopsticks?
Yep.
25.) Do you prefer beaches or forests?
Neither. Restaurants.
26.) What serial killer do you find most disturbing?
Is this really a question? What serial killers aren’t disturbing?
27.) Who knows a secret or two about you?
Heh. If everyone knows it, is it still a secret?
28.) Have you ever burned yourself?
Of course not. I am pristine like the day I was born.
29.) Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
Dice, Ray, Michael, Jesse, and, oh hell. Everyone I know. If not, they should, ’cause I’m talkin’ some smack about them right now.
30.) Who is/are your hero[s]?
Ira Glass! No? Fine, okay . . . Margaret Thatcher.
40.) Do you believe in things that last forever?
Like what? The Roman Empire?
41.) What are you listening to?
The white noise machine in the ceiling of my office.
42.) What do you smell like?
Huckleberry body spray from Bath & Body Works.
43.) Are you married?
Yep.
44.) Does anyone regularly tell you they love you?
Yep.
45.) What’s most confusing to you?
Stocks and trading.
46.) Do you have any bad habits?
Nope. Not a one.
47.) Have you ever wanted to be a teacher?
Not hardly.
48.) What is one thing you’ve learned about life?
Do unto others as you would have done unto you. Also: the world is full of stupid, self-centered people.
49.) What’s your favorite color?
Navy blue.
50.) Have you ever been stuck in an elevator?
Define “stuck.”
51.) What does your dad call you?
He doesn’t.
52.) Has anyone told you that they like you more than a friend?
Heh. We are 8 years old.
53.) What are you looking forward to?
The weekend (cue song: Everybody’s workin’ for the weekend!)
54.) How are you today?
Apathetic, pessimistic and irritated.
55.) What hurts right now?
My tooth. And feet.
56.) What are you doing tomorrow?
Working. Running. Watching TV.
57.) What do you find hard?
Spontaneity.
58.) How much money do you have?
Enough to live life comfortably but not extravagantly.
59.) Have you ever had feelings for a friend of the same sex?
Only the sexual kind.
60.) Have you ever had a filling?
Nope.
61.) Who did you copy this from?
Gretchen, Queen of the Survey.
62.) What’s the best thing you’ve ever purchased?
Fancy (my car).
63.) What’s your favorite song right now?
The District Sleeps Tonight by the Postal Service.
64.) What’s your favorite thing on YouTube?
I’ve never been on it. I am far too superior.
65.) Who are you thinking about right now?
Myself. Duh!
